


The Smartest One

by snarkysweetness



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Confessions, Dumb Science Babies Being Dorks, F/M, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-16 05:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2257188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarkysweetness/pseuds/snarkysweetness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Fitz begins to piece together bits of his memory, his and Simmons’ conflicting accounts of how they became friends forces them to finally discuss his feelings and what it means for their friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Smartest One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WickedSong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedSong/gifts), [bluegothic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluegothic/gifts), [ohfiitz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohfiitz/gifts), [maybesandsomedays](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybesandsomedays/gifts).



> I wanted to do something with these two dorks talking and then the deleted scenes of their Academy days were released and I could not resist myself. I dedicate this to Caitlin, Cindy, Jess, & Tiff who are my Fitzsimmons babies and who I want to ruin with this. Enjoy.

“What are you smiling about, Fitz?” Jemma asked with a smirk as she glanced up to find him watching her. He’d been awake for a week and was still confined to his bed but his spirits were surprisingly high. That was Fitz for you, always a surprise.

“I remembered something.”

She perked up and stopped setting up the chess board, this was far more important. “What did you remember?” There were gaps in his memory but they’d slowly been coming back. The only things that seemed to be really missing were the events following Hydra’s big reveal. He’d blocked out killing a man, Ward’s betrayal, and everything they’d endured at the bottom of the ocean. Maybe it was for the best but it hadn’t stopped them from trying to get it all back.

Fitz glanced down at his lap with a blush. “It’s silly, really-“

“ _Fitz_.”

“Fine…I…” He toyed with a frayed piece of his bedding and she recognized he was embarrassed.

“Oh, Fitz, honestly! Is it the time you forgot to knock-“

“No!” His face went beet red and he looked…well, grumpy. “I remember that just fine, unfortunately,” he grumbled.

Jemma frowned. Perhaps mentioning her sexual conquests to her best friend who happened to be in love with her was a bad idea. “Sorry, Fitz.”

“It’s nothing,” he mumbled.

Jemma reached to give his good hand a squeeze. “What did you remember, Fitzy?”

“It’s silly, really,” he answered with a nervous chuckle. “Looking back now…I was so oblivious about how I felt. It took me ages to realize you were…” She gave his hand a squeeze to encourage him to go on. “I always tried to convince myself you were just an odd little duck, like me, probably because I wanted to be friends with you so badly but you were….a lot more popular than me, weren’t you? I still can’t believe I ever found a way to be your friend.” He linked his fingers with hers and glanced up to meet her eyes. “I’m thankful every day that you chose me to be your best friend, Jemma Simmons.”

She wrinkled her nose as a blush rose to her cheeks. “Fitz, your memory is worse than I thought; you _hated_ me.”

“I did not! I knew we’d get along the moment I first heard about the genius girl from Sheffield, the smartest and youngest person to ever come to The Academy; we were two peas in a pod.”

“Fitz, you can give up the act, I know you hated me. You were always showing off, trying to prove how much smarter than me you were and you never spoke a word me. I don’t think we ever spoke until we were forced to partner up in Chemistry Lab and even then it took you days to really have a conversation with me.“

“Is that how you remember it?” He stared at her sadly and her stomach began twisting into knots. 

“Yes? I know you were the smartest person there, Fitz, but you didn’t have to be so stand-offish-“

“Jemma Simmons, you are the smartest person I have ever met. I…I’m nowhere near as intelligent as you are.”

“Fitz-“

“Let me finish. I didn’t talk to you because…I couldn’t figure out how to seem smart enough to get you to notice me. I used to spend hours in front of my bedroom mirror practicing conversation topics but the moment I’d see you carrying all of those books and talking everyone’s ear-off I would lose my nerve.

I wasn’t trying to prove I was smarter than you, Jemma; I was trying to impress you.

The day we were partnered up was the luckiest day of my life because that’s when you began to notice me and I finally found something clever enough to say and when you laughed…” He smiled dreamily. “It was the best thing I’d ever heard in my life and then you wanted to be friends and it changed my life, Jemma. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have become. You’re everything, Jemma.

I can’t believe you thought I could ever hate you; I love you.”

Jemma didn’t even realize there were tears on her cheeks until Fitz reached out to wipe one away.

“I’m sorry, Jemma…I didn’t mean…” he glanced down and shook his head. “I know it wasn’t fair of me to dump my feelings on you. Ten years later and I still don’t know how to…look,” he glanced up. “You’re my best friend, Jemma. And yes, you are also so much more than that but I meant what I said when I said I didn’t want things to change.

Your friendship means more to me than anything in this world and I don’t ever want to lose that.

I know it wasn’t fair of me to force you to take that oxygen but I couldn’t…Jemma, I can’t live in a world without you. And it was selfish but I wanted you to go on and have a happy life and you can go on without me, Jem, you don’t need me. And I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, okay? I know you don’t feel the same and its okay, Jemma. I know that’s why you feel guilty and you don’t have to.

As long as we can stay the way we’ve always been I’ll be okay.”

“Oh God…Fitz…you remember?”

He bit the inside of his cheek and nodded shamefully. “I’ve been dreaming…anyway, I remembered almost everything. I was going to tell you, but then I started to remember other things like the day we met and when we were partnered together and the first time we spent Christmas together because I couldn’t afford to go home to see my mum and you pretended you couldn’t go home either but I know you stayed to be with me-“

“You knew about that?”

“Jemma I may not be as smart as you but I’m not an idiot.

Anyway…I just wanted to focus on those memories instead of the bad ones.”

Jemma looked away and wiped at her eyes while shaking her head. “Oh, Fitz, I’m such an idiot. I’ve spent all of these years thinking you were the smartest one but you really are an idiot.”

“Hey! I’m still recovering, you could be kinder to a-“ Jemma cut him off by kissing him hard on the mouth. Fitz froze in surprise but a moment later he held a hand to her cheek and kissed her back.

When Jemma pulled away Fitz’s eyes were wide open and he looked stunned.

“You stupid, wonderful man.

Fitz, I couldn’t go on without you, don’t you understand that? It’s why I had to save you. You’re right, it was selfish, but only because it wouldn’t be fair to me to have to live in a world without you in it. I haven’t been feeling guilty because I don’t…oh Fitz, I’ll be honest, it never occurred to me that you felt that way and I never…I mean I’ve always known it should be you but you were my best friend and I never wanted to ruin that by taking advantage of you! We both know that outside of the bedroom I’m terrible with romantic relationships and I would just ruin things between us if I acted on any attraction we felt for one another.

But…you’re the most interesting, kindest, smartest person I know, Fitz.

Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what my feelings for you mean but I love you more than anyone in this entire world, Fitz. I’ve loved you for so long that it’s a part of me and until you…” She sniffled, knowing she was beginning to ramble. “I don’t think there’s a label for what I feel for you, Fitz, and I didn’t realize it until you told me how you felt because I’d never allowed myself to think we could be more than best friends because I never thought you could feel that way about me. You weren’t the only one desperate for a real friend back then, Fitz. I felt so lucky to have you in my life because I thought you’d picked me out of everyone else to honor with your friendship.

And I feel guilty because I disrespected your choice and its cost you so much. Holes in your memory, the loss of your motor skills-you were in a coma for months, Fitz! Because of me!

I’m so sorry,” she was crying again. “All this time I couldn’t understand how you couldn’t hate me because I hate myself so much for putting you through all of this just because I couldn’t live without you. I need you, Fitz, and I’m sorry if I ever made you think otherwise.

You’re…” She wiped at her eyes again. “You’re my hero, Fitz. You followed me into this mess and you risked your life for me when I was infected and you’re the reason I made it out of The Hub alive and my God, Fitz, you were willing to die to let me live. You’re so brave and wonderful and everything has changed, Fitz, because I don’t think I can go back to ignoring the fact that you’re perfect and all I’ve ever wanted to find in a companion, Fitz, because you’re not just my best friend and my lab partner. I don’t know what that means but I do know that when you’ve recovered and we’re out of this mess we’re in with Hydra that I want to find out because at the end of the day I don’t think there’s anything we can do to ruin what we have. We’ll always be best friends, no matter what.”

“You know for two geniuses we aren’t very good at communicating, are we?”

Jemma laughed and nodded as Fitz took her hand again. “I’m sorry I never told you how important you are to me before all of this, Jemma. I promise, from now on, I’m never going to let you forget.”

“And I promise I won’t jump to conclusions about your feelings.”

Fitz brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “Do you still want to play chess?”

Jemma shook her head and carefully lay next to him, resting her head on his chest. “I just want to lie here with you,” she whispered, listening to his heartbeat.

A moment later Fitz began stroking her hair gently. “Did you really think I was smarter?”

“Did you really stand in front of the mirror playing with your dorky space ties having pretend conversations with me?”

“Our children are doomed, aren’t they?”

Jemma couldn’t help the urge to grin like a fool.

“Don’t worry, Fitz, at least they’ll have my good looks. Oh and my hair. Poor things really will be doomed if they’re stuck with your curls.”

“I’m going to break up with you if you don’t start being nicer and acknowledge how adorable I am,” he teased.

Jemma raised her head to meet his eyes. “We both know that’s never going to happen.”

“No, but you can still pretend that you want this hot body, Jem.”

She pursed her lips together and tried not to laugh. He still didn’t see himself the way she saw him. She’d have to find a way to fix that but it wasn’t going to be today.

“Oh, Fitz, you really are an idiot aren’t you?”


End file.
